(I, your webmaster, have returned in humble Obedience and have interviewed another member of our staff.
As you know, with the Priest shortage these days (with many overseas and not returning or those who are ministering in the jails and legal system) we sometimes must settle on dedicated women who serve "in locus lacrimabilis" while we try to get more priests to provide real pastoral counsel. I know you will enjoy my interview with Tara as much as I did.)
An interview with Mrs. Tara Diddle
I, your intrepid webmaster, sought out yet again another of our devoted staff members here at St. Palter Catholic Church.
My interview with Tara was scheduled for 12 noon. But she asked me to be there at 11:30 a.m. so that she could spend some time looking over my questions before she actually had to answer them. Unlike many staff members, Tara seems to be very concerned with who says what and when they say it.
At precisely noon, Tara called me into her office saying, "I hope this doesn't take too long as you know that I have important things to do since I am the Pastoral Associate."
I inquired of her what exactly was a Pastoral Associate? Tara's eyes narrowed as she replied, "My job is just as important as any priest, any man, that might sit in this office. Why would you even question me?"
I asked Tara how she got the job as pastoral associate. She leaned back in her chair, nearly bumping the incense and the thirty candles off of her desk. "Well, I was previously at another parish and found that there I was oppressed by the other men on the staff and most of the nuns. When I saw that the position was open here, that is, the other nun was finally let go, err, I mean that she moved out of town for "health reasons," I thought to myself that this would be a great opportunity to expand my influence in the Catholic Church well at least in this diocese anyway. You know how difficult it is for a woman to be a Pastoral Associate with the way that the church views women. Well, actually the way men view women overall."
As she seemed to be on a roll, I thought it was best not to interrupt her as she pontificated on the role of women and men in the church.
"I was just finishing my masters degree, and by the way do you notice the sexism and the word' Masters?' Why couldn't it be ‘Mistress’ degree or perhaps “second-level higher education degree? I mean, really, it's just one more example of why men are the problem."
While she continued talking, she leaned closer to me, leaning over the gap in the floor, which she apparently uses to keep people from actually getting close to her. As she bent over, her eyes narrowed. I could tell I was about to get an education in some important part of the Roman Catholic Church.
"And, Mr. webmaster, I need to know: how come it's always a man as the webmaster? Could we have hired a woman to do your job just as well?"
She leaned back in her chair, crossed her arms and then looked at me with one eyebrow raised.
As she is the Pastoral Associate, I had to assume that this was some type of important Roman Catholic training that would soon teach me more of the dogma of the church.
"And," she continued in an authoritarian voice, "be sure not to mention my divorce in this interview. Sometimes people get the wrong idea. My husband, like most men, just was not worthy of my time anymore. As a matter of fact I find it to be true of most men. Don't get me wrong. I don't hate men. I just find that generally men have only one agenda, and that agenda is to subjugate women to their whims."
I asked her how she found it to be working with Father Ty Rolean, our wonderful Pastor. Shifting back and forth in her chair, which I'm sure was an opportunity for her to pray about her answer, she responded, "Oh yes. Father Ty. Well I'm sure he's a good man and it's encouraging for me to know that his golf scores have improved since I've been here. He gives me a lot of leeway to do whatever I need to do in the church, that is, to get things under control, as long as I don't do anything that's too religious."
I then asked her what her day consisted of. What types of activities did Tara spend her day doing?
"Well my day is filled with maintaining order on the staff. I find myself having to issue edicts oftentimes to some of the younger members of the staff. Thank God we only have a few men on the staff. It makes my job so much easier. As you know, the church has discovered that men are dangerous. And so it's my job to keep track of them. Sometimes I walk into their office and to simply tell them to 'be careful, you never know, just be careful.' I find it important to have people guessing about what their future is in the church it seems to make them more responsive to future orders, commands and instructions."
I told how inspired I was by her service to the staff and especially how well she served the men on the staff. I further explained it was just like having a Florence Nightingale on the staff.
"Well, I can't expect much more than that from you, can I?" she slowly replied.
I continued my interview. My next question was asked her about her home life and her children.
"Yes, I do have a son at home. He's kind of a rocker, if you know what I mean. I'm not able to bring him into the office as others don't understand his lifestyle. It does seem that Father Ty has taken an interest in him. All the more reason for me to leave him at home. But, my son is all boy at 16 years old, and I'm working on fixing that. I've tried to raise him in a gender free home, now that his dad moved out."
At that the interview was over. I thanked Tara for all her service to our Sacred Parish.
As I left the office, Tara ushered me out the door saying, "Be careful, webmaster. Be careful."
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